The Stares and Opinions of Others and OT Update

Peoples stares and opinions and comments and judgements are really starting to get to me.

I have business cards that I had made a few months ago for circumstances like these. But even handing them to someone makes my stomach flip and it feels awful that I feel it necessary. I am super shy and definitely not confrontational. It says "Autism is my superpower" and then it says hi, my son has autism spectrum disorder. He may talk, walk and socialize differently. He may behave inappropriately and talk loud. Thank you for your patience and understanding...

I handed my first one out this week...

We were at Friendlys. There were 3 other parties at the restaurant. The staff and owner know Tyler. They greet him by name and treat him GREAT. Ty and I were having lunch together. We were having a GREAT time together and it was actually one of those moments where you feel such a great connection with your child.

Tyler is a loud, always moving, mostly happy child. He was laughing and talking loud, as voice modulation is not a strong point for ASD kiddos. He was behaving, he was just loud silly and happy. Every so often, he'd turn around to look at the two women behind him. He does this ALL the time. Sometimes I don't even notice it anymore. But of course I tell him he needs to turn around and eat his food. One time he turned around and did his little Tyler growl and laughs. He was trying to make them laugh. But it scared the women with her back to him. The other women looked at me, scowled at me and said "oh my God". I told Tyler he needs to turn around and mind his own business.

So we get his ice cream and I'm trying to get him to eat gummy bears. I tell him to bite their heads off (hehe). And he thinks its the most hilarious thing. So we take turns biting heads off of the gummy bears. The women facing us keeps giving me dirty looks. Then Tyler turns around and very sweetly says " hi!". The women with her back to him turns around and sternly says "turn around and sit down!". OOOoooohhhhhh noooooooooooooooo. I was so mad. But I am a CHICKEN. What do I do? I finish up eating, pay, stand up, tell Tyler to give them the autism card and book it out of there.

Then my mom and brother visit. Tyler is in shut down mode. He can not tolerate people talking to him or people in his home. He is laying on me with the blanket over him. Gets upset if someone tries to interact with him. After awhile, seeing that they aren't leaving, he starts acting out. Crying squealing, kicking me. He gets sent to his room twice for 10 minutes each as he started to get violent, This went on for a good 2 hours....it is so much easier for people to think that a fully verbal child that can walk and talk and count and play.....as being disabled. So family members are blaming parenting. I should put him in his room for half the day. I don't punish him enough. But....he has no idea that he is doing something wrong. He's just trying to cope. He's in a situation he can't handle. And people just can't understand that.

One of Tylers "things" is that he likes to rub and pull on peoples clothes. We don't know why but it's probably sensory related and a coping mechanism. It IS really really annoying cause he pulls your shirt way out and sometimes he lifts your shirt up from the bottom. It drives my brother nuts. Today we were at OT and the receptionist was in the waiting room. When the kids came out Tyler was super duper hyper like always. She hates how loud and hyper he is and often times it's not just me trying to slow him down, she pitches in, often raises her voice at him. Well today I didn't see what happened because the therapist was talking to me, but next thing I know she's YELLING at me " he just tried to pull my skirt down!". She was VERY upset. She acted like he was being a pervert and trying to embarrass her and see her privates.

Tyler doesn't even know that girls and boys have different private parts yet! I asked how far he pulled it and she showed me like 2 inches LOL. I understand how embossed she'd likely be if that happened in front of everyone....but it didn't. And he did not understand. I told him he can't be touching and pulling on other peoples clothes. She looked at the OT like " that's ALL she's gonna do????" And the OT bent over and told Tyler to go apologize. He did but he has NO IDEA what for. He has NO CLUE what he did wrong. She was so angry and the WHOLE waiting room, who does not know Tyler, sees a very verbal, functional, hyper and likely misbehaving kid...they likely think he's just rotten and perverted or something!!!! I was near tears....by how public it was, by the fact that he did that to someone,by the fact that he has NO IDEA that its wrong....but mostly because SOMEONE ELSE thinks he's a horrible rotten kid. But it's not his fault :(

We are entering into a new realm here. The behaviors are no longer socially acceptable unlike when he was a toddler and viewed as cute. And it's awful :(.

OT Update:

Tylers been in group OT or a little while now. He receives both ST and OT from the same clinic. He was in one on one OT but the schedules changed and until they have a slot again for him, hes been in group OT. Today the OT gave us a little update on how they are doing.

Tyler is the oldest, but the other kids are 4 so he's not TO much older. Tyler has the " best" cutting skills though he still needs some work. But the OT said that Tyler definitely has some sensory issues going on. She said she can't technically work on it cause it's not covered by insurance. This may be wrong though so I will have to look into it. But she said that is a huge problem for him as well as his ability to attend to task. "What do you mean?" I asked....though I think I kinda know. She said that he needs repeated prompts over and over and over to do the activities. Each step has to be stated to him over and over. She said he's super distracted by everything and everyone around him. Boy do I know it! LOL. And I think this problem here is going to be the major reason why when he hits 1st grade, he will likely need a continued 1:1 or 1:2 aid in class.

Guess that's all for tonight. My husband has abandoned me to enter into dream land as I take the time to write this post. And now the font is all messed up and I doubt I can fix it. Ah well...

-Tylers Mommy